What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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