Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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