Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Just invented taco cereal.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Randomize
