i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
God gave him joint rollers for hands
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
