fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
