Hey man sorry I got all grabby
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize