Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
