I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
