Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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