I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Acid is not a monday night drug
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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