is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
It's rum buckets o'clock
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