Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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