I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
