please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
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