dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize