Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Randomize
