Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
