i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
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