16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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