Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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