just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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