I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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