Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize