was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
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