Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
