does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
