can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
