4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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