Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
