i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
