I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
