It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
