is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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