Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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