She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
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