Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
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