nut hugger
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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