Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
