he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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