Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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