how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
