I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Where did you get a picture of my penis
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
