Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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