Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
