Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
