Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
You are the jesus of drinking
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize