butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
