I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize