There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I need a beard to bite.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
