why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
