Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
