Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize