dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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