I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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