Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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