This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
