I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
